In Life as in Death

I've always wanted to write a piece with the title of "In Life as in Death". However, I never got beyond the title because I couldn't figure out what I wanted to write about. I finally got some inspiration yesterday from a dear friend who hypothetically "killed" me least 3 times in an hour. Ok, so she didn't kill me but suggested I might die very soon (she must have noticed the amount I ate).

I mentioned to her that I have a blog in which I write once a year. To this she said I need to reach my full potential and write more as the next generation is waiting to be inspired by me. (You should be laughing hysterically by now as I was). God forbid the day when people are "inspired" by me to do something that's not illegal, immoral or plain evil.

But then I thought, why the hell not. In case I do die very soon, I might as well write down some suggestions. I'm sure you've read these elsewhere and there's nothing new. However, I thought I'd explain the context in which they help me. In most cases, these should be completely ignored and if you don't, I disclaim all liabilities, legal, moral and/or otherwise. These work for me - which make them all the more likely to not work for normal people.

 All right, so here goes:

1. Prioritize People, Prioritize Things.

Figure out the things and people that matter to you the most in life. Then dedicate your life to achieving those things and making those people happy. The less priorities you have, the simpler your life and all the decisions related to it become. Others do not matter.

For example: Last weekend, I was absolutely stuffed with food when I met some friends at my favorite restaurant called Nandos. My normal order is a half chicken extra hot with double chips. But I know my priorities. I love Nando's chicken. So it was a very easy decision. I skipped the beer, skipped the pita and hummus, skipped the chips, skipped dessert and ate just the chicken. Life is good.

2. Life Goes On. Move on.

Life itself on this planet has been around for millions/billions of years...i don't really know how long, but you get my point.. a really long time. And I would think, even if there was some sort of global catastrophe, there will be at least some form of life that survives. Point being, life goes on. Whether you hurt yourself, you're angry, sick, sad, upset, you've had a bad day, your girlfriend's dumped you for someone fatter, uglier and more of a jerk than you or in general it seems like the whole world is conspiring to come between you and your food - get over it.  It has no time for you. In the words of the great Rick Blaine - "the problems of ...little people don't amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world". Life will go on with or without you. So you might as well move on with it. You might be surprised where it takes you.

For Example: I walked into a Nandos once a few years ago. I can't remember which specific one, but somewhere in the UK. Before being seated, of all the possible horrors in the world, I heard 6 words that drove shivers up my spine - "We have run out of chicken". It almost brought me to tears. True story. But it didn't mean I should given up eating all together. I went further down the street to one of the ubiquitous pubs. The meal itself was ok, but it was the first time I had curly fries. Wow! They blew my mind. Sure, they're just fries, but since then I've never been able to have regular chips or fries without the sad feeling of knowing there's something better out there. Now if only Nandos could do curly fries with chicken.

3. Keep yourself happy.

The simplest way to keep the people that really matter to you in life happy, is to keep yourself happy. It's not the world's responsibility to make you happy. It's yours. Don't do things that make you sad just to make someone else happy. If that person really cares about you, they would never want that.

For Example:

I once went to Nandos with a friend who wanted a light meal so he just ordered some olives and haloumi cheese. I stuck to my standard. One seeing my food, he started feeling a bit more hungry. Out of sheer politeness and stupidity I offered some of my chicken. And to great visible sadness, he actually took it. It goes without saying that I stopped speaking to him after that. We could have a beautiful friendship if I had just kept myself happy and let him starve. He wasn't on my priority list anyway. Oh well...life goes on.

4. Eat Chocolate

Because it freaking tastes good and makes you happy. 

For Example: After an extra hot chicken from Nandos, the decadent taste of sweet chocolate is heaven to the taste buds on fire.

So those were a few of the key suggestions I could give. I realize that the title is not exactly apt for this piece since I haven't really mentioned anything about life and death. But its my blog. If you don't like it, write your own. I could go on and on with more "valuable" insights on life, but I'm pretty certain few of the others would let you into a world that only the voices in my head are familiar with. The world is not ready for those yet. When it is, it would mean I've taken over and these would no longer be suggestions, but the law.